HIS WRITING

He writes well. He has an extensive vocabulary and a sense of humor and can put his thoughts into words..intelligently. And has unschooled all his life.


His teachers, last year and this year, have told him often that he is a good writer. Last year it took some time before she knew it was his first school experience, was surprised and said positively, "He is who he is because of it."


The teacher this year doesn't seem to know as yet, for would she still be threatening to call his mother when he didn't turn in assignments on time...or not at all? We look at each other and laugh. It IS laughable to an unschooler who goes to school by choice, has the power to quit whenever he wants, and to do or not do, the work.


The thing is, he likes her ,"As a person", he says, "not as a teacher". They have had some deep conversations and enjoy each others company. But when she is in teacher mode it is a different story. It is no surprise that his english grade was much less than his A in history and his A in French. . .as if grades really matter.


I have encouraged him to keep up with his writing on his own because he IS good and does have something to say. And who knows what the future may hold, one can write from anywhere.

GRADES DO NOT MATTER

It is perplexing how a child can get a D as a final grade in a subject that he likes, get an A on the midterm exam, an A+ on the final exam, understand the material completely, and have these words written by his teacher : 

"A pleasure to have in class"  

"He was extremely inquisitive and well-spoken; a rare combination for freshmen nowadays.  I enjoyed having him in class and look forward to working with him in the future."

I know why, but do you?

Homework.

He enjoyed the subject matter and the teacher but chose not to spend time doing homework and other busywork. And I guess this is what happens. And I am very calm, surprisingly enough.

All along we decided, when he chose to go to high school this year, (the first school experience ever!), that he would be responsible for his own learning. That he would make the decision whether to do homework, study, etc without any nagging or reminders from me, unless of course he asked me to. But, of course, he never asked. :]

I have had nine months to talk to myself and reassure myself that grades do not matter (even though deep down I know they don't), but I knew the real test would come when I opened that report card. And I was calm as could be, even when I looked at the D. 

I know he understands the material. I know grades are not a measure of what he knows...or of what he has learned. 

In fact, He was often annoyed that the kids in his classes had no understanding of the subject matter. They could pass the tests but had no understanding for discussions- one of his pet peeves of kids at school. But we know from our own school days that kids learn the game early on, just memorize for the tests .

Does it bother him that he got a D? No. 

Did he even care about his report card? No.

He knows it is not a true measure of his learning and of himself.

This is a part of going to high school and still remaining an unschooler. 

He will share his experience at the Northeast Unschooling Conference this summer with me as I talk about a mom's journey of supporting my son's choice to go to school while he remains an unschooler.